I am reaching bottle neck? Actually what is bottle neck? Should I use crossroad instead? But crossroad, at least you can see the road. For me, I do not see any. I cannot even see the road. It is as though my mind having a blockage and the thought could not be processed. Is it God see that there is no point for me to process because I did not do what I need to do or am called to do. Have I become like the 10 of the 12 spies that instead of seeing God’s goodness and promises? I chose to look at the problems like giant and I am like an grasshopper. Hence becos of this, I cannot enter the promised land. I do not have the different spirit that Caleb possessed.
Am i doomed to die for disobeying or will God give me a second chance? I reaching a point or may be have arrived at a stage that I began to ask,”WHO AM I”, “WHAT AM I ON EARTH FOR”… it is as though I need to go back and relearn Christian faith and who God is.
Can I just say honestly that it is pastor who does not want me and not becos I do not want to enter. What should I say? or think? God I am saying all these to you and you know how I feel. I ask that you will take pity of me, your unworthy follower and help me out here. Let me see light to my future. You have never fail to show me light and I will wait.
I going to start fasting tmr. From 7am to 7pm and I will try my very best to abstain from T.V and food.
My verse from Lord for this year is I Love you with an everlasting love. Lord, I have faith in you.
Trust and Obey, there is no other way. Forgive me if I did not obey.
